Lent in everyday language. Day Ten

Broken. Disorganized. Misplaced. Messy. Tired. Teary. Thoughtful.

Let’s begin here.

I start this day (early)  wondering how I can push through this heavy feeling of being so behind. Little laundry hills in every bedroom. Beds unmade, dishes unwashed, floors un-vacuumed. I have a friend who compares motherhood to the movie Groundhogs Day. It is somewhere on her blog with a hilarious yet painful tribute to the daily grind of mothering and homemaking starting over at the same way every single morning.  Yesterday I made all sorts of “unproductive” choices in terms of managing my home life:

  1. talking to my husband for two hours after the kids were dropped off from school
  2. watching my husband play with my son (40 minutes)
  3. going to eat lunch with my husband (60 minutes)
  4. going to the craft store with my husband to buy 5 sheets of specialty paper for my daughters project (30 minutes)
  5. talking with a dear dear family friend on our porch. well, mostly just listened to him share his heart. (50 minutes)
  6. listened and encouraged a friend on the phone to believe the dreams God is giving her (34 minutes)
  7. wrote prayers online and via text to people that I love who needed prayer (??? minutes)
  8. walked with my eldest and youngest to the beach and watched them chase birds for an hour
  9. went to a friends house and helped her clean, prep, and pray for a journey she will be taking away from her children for the first time in a long long time
  10. stayed up late late late reading Angela Robinsons blog, my best friend who is now dancing in heaven with Jesus

Jesus, I need you every hour.These are the activities that bring me the greatest joy and sense of fulfilling the plans for Your Kingdom, where relationships matter more than material goods. Where people are not INTERRUPTIONS to our goals and ambitions, people are the goals and ambitions. Where I will have less to manage and distract me from the people that I love so much and want to bless so much and be with so much. Where Heaven and Earth will meet and all will be restored to dancing and chasing birds and long talks with loved ones and the ocean brings a smile and prayer is our natural language and beauty absolutely matters.

But today it is laundry and bills and sticky floors and a late assignment and disordered thinking and hoping that the noise in the car will just go away.

Sigh.

Where do I notice God today?

Today I notice God in people and their pain.  God seems to be stirring up in people I know a Holy discontent for the staus quo and foolishness that popular culture (in and out of the church) has been feeding them. I had lunch earlier this week with two people who just speak the Truth and the way God intended His creation to operate. I agree with them that for the most part, we are not living in any kind of Eden. But for me, when I am in conversations with these “discontent” ones, it is not a complaining and bitterness that they are pouring out. It is a deep deep desire to see life being lived as close to God as possible… in marriages, in friendships, in community life, in church life, in functioning better as a family, in vocational pursuits.  I consider it an absolute God appointed conversation whenever the people I am talking with have such high expectations for what life could be like if we could simply operate in the authority and gifting and purpose and joy that God meant for us.

John Piper says it this way “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him”

Frederick Buechner has written that “vocation is where our greatest joy meets the world’s greatest need”

Where do I need to notice God today?

In these myriad relationships, I need God to speak through me. Therefore, I need to be a quiet listener. I know that in moments God will be able to break through my mini-sermons or speeches, but at the end of the day I am wondering how much God was really able to use me with all of my talking. Or are my words only able to come out of my mouth the way that they do because God has given me the abilities of discernment and leadership and prayer? I am not sure and I know that I can’t ask around about this. My nice friends will tell me I am helpful and my mean friends (oxymoron? I think not) that I do talk too much. SO there is only time and space to ask the God of all creation and communication to show me Himself in my speech. I am far less concerned these days with what other people think of me than what other people think of God when they are with me.

How do these questions help you notice God today?

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4 thoughts on “Lent in everyday language. Day Ten

  1. Amy Dear, such a lovely and honest post today! I want to encourage you TODAY! I am loving that each day,that the questions you pose are about TODAY. Not yesterday and not tomorrow. Does that make sense? Today is the day that the Lord has made (Psalms 118:24). As an older woman (he he), I am understanding more and more of how important it is to pause and reflect on today, and seeking His direction and not my own. I am praying that the Lord continues His beautiful, perfect communication to you. What He has put on your heart is truly worth sharing, and He will bless you for your obedience to Him! Pam Mosher

  2. Pam
    I so appreciate this kindness. It is an easier journey when kind companions join along the way… truly grateful.
    Amy P

  3. Amy,
    It’s really day twenty two in my time. But for the first time I am opening your blog and working through it from day one. I thought I would wait to comment until the current day, but I can’t hold back any longer.

    My heart is full listening to your lenten journey, and the struggles of this season for your family. Oh sister. Thank you for reminding me of the “unproductive” choices that are really eternal opportunities in God’s eyes. As I reflect back on an earlier post, how do we reconcile these choices with our oft propensity to linger a bit too long and thus cause others to be less than honored?

    I’ve struggled with this one lately. I am wanting to learn that discernment of the moment. Asking the Spirit, “do I linger? or do I move on to the next appointment?”
    In either case, people are the important ones. God is there at work.

    And yes, duties and responsibilities, however dull or mundane, can be filled with God’s holy presence. For we can honor God and others when we do these as unto the Lord. Like Brother Lawrence. And washing dishes (remember?)

    I miss you sweet sister. More to come as I read on..

    Jan

    • Jan
      I am finding my rhythm (be it ever so slow in coming) of chores and chats, of people and programs, of tasks and tear-filled phone-calls. While I have always thought of myself as “outside of time”, I know that I really do belong to a universe of finite chronological boundaries. So what do I do? The last few weeks, I have to say that writing sets me into the right pace. If I write first or second thing during the day, it is as if I get my mental marching orders. If I don’t write, then I am tempted to move forward about aimlessly into a day filled with people and problems and laundry. Always the laundry.

      I have designated Monday as my Serious Day to Clean My House so that most of the important chores will be finished. Friday afternoon before I get my kids I do a House Rescue so that when my kids come home for the weekend I am ready for their 4 little bodies and all the bookspapertoyslegossnackscrayonsdollsandstuff to parade around the house all weekend.

      But in between those bookends of my Monday through Friday life there are always so many welcome and unwelcome interruptions. I want to, as you “honor God and others when I do these things as unto the Lord”. It all has to do with how Holy my expectations are!!!

      Thank you so much for finding me here. It is not the journey I planned, but God is showing me His purpose in everyday language.

      XO
      amy p

      PS I miss you too

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