Leaning over the rail of the pier, I watched hot tears of guilt and shame plunk into the ocean below. While these tears washed away into the abyss of dark blue waters, so did my hope of living within protective fellowship that I enjoyed with God for most of my life. I was just out of college with a world of opportunities ahead of me, and I had broken my vow of purity by choosing to be with a man who cared very little for my Christian values and my promise to God to wait until I was married. In this moment, I drew a figurative line in the sand between God and myself. Who among my Christian friends would respect me now? How could I attend church while I was suffering the consequences of living by the world’s wisdom in stead of adhering to God’s wisdom? I reasoned that if I had ignored God’s wisdom when it really mattered, maybe I was not really a child of God at all. I quickly found a secular path for living my wrecked life and I began to listen to what culture determined was valuable and wise; racing towards success and popularity with insatiable self-centered living.
One day, a co-worker showed me a book that she was reading. This little book was called Be Still and Know That I Am God. When I opened it up to the daily reading, the Truth within poured out into my hungry soul. God’s word was an invitation to return to what I knew to be true: “Whether you turn to the left or to the right, you will hear a voice behind you saying, this is the way, walk in it” Isaiah 30:21. I knew that God’s words contained more wisdom, direction, hope, and peace than any words from any other place. I was living proof of that dramatic reality of tap dancing away from God’s clear guidance. As I returned to God’s wisdom, illuminated in this simple devotional, I became more aware of my need to know that God was God. I did not have to look to any other source for direction. The wisdom of these words gave me new vocabulary to speak into the hopeless situation I found myself living in, as well as speak into the hopeless situations of others. God’s continues to direct me with the wisdom of His Word.